I started going to therapy back in 2018. That was one of the most painful times in my life (emotionally). I went through a few different counselors before finding the one that started me on my healing journey. Since then, I’ve had several people ask me how to choose a therapist. This is the process that I use for myself, and to help others!
Step 1: Know Your Insurance Policy
It is crucial to know what is covered by your specific insurance policy. You can do this by calling the member support line on your insurance card, or by looking at your policy information on your online membership portal.
If you don’t have insurance coverage, you can skip this step.
If you want a policy, but need help choosing one, check out this post on choosing insurance!
You can also skip this step if you are looking for couples counseling/group therapy/etc. AND if you know that your policy doesn’t cover those types of therapy. Some policies do, so check if you’re not sure!
Your policy will also tell you how much you will pay for each session. This may impact how often you decide to see your therapist.
***TIP: Some plans cover virtual sessions completely or offer a cheaper co-pay/co-insurance than in-person visits.
Step 2: Choose Your Therapy Platform (Online vs In-Person)
Some insurance companies partner with online platforms like BetterHelp for the therapy needs of their members. I’ve only tried LiveHealth Online, but some others have great reviews! They take a lot of the guesswork out of finding a therapist because you know they are covered under your insurance. Some even match you with therapists based on the issues you want to talk about.
If you don’t want to go the platform route, you can use a website like Psychology Today to find a therapist. I like them because I can be picky and narrow down my options with their filters.
Step 3: Create Your List
I typically gather a list of about 3-5 therapists. I use the filter on Psychology Today to choose a therapist who…
- does teletherapy (optional),
- is proficient in my issues (anxiety, etc.),
- and is covered under my insurance!
I only started using specific filters (like types of therapy/treatment approaches) after being in therapy for a while. If you want to research these further, you can, but it isn’t necessary to.
Step 4: Make Sure They are Covered!
Because I’m extra, I always go back to my insurance company’s website. I look up my little list of therapists in their system to make sure they are covered.
You can call the member support number on your insurance card if you want someone else to do this for you!
You don’t have to do this if you are using a platform connected to the insurance company.
After completing these steps, if your therapist is not on a platform like LiveHealth Online or BetterHelp, you may need to contact their office to make sure they are accepting new patients.
Things to Remember when Choosing a Therapist
Your First Choice May Not Work Out
A therapist’s profile may look fantastic. They check every box you were looking for, and you’re ready to embark on your healing journey. The first few sessions are informative so the therapist can get to know you. Then months go by.
You start to dread your upcoming sessions.
You can’t be completely open with this person you were so excited about, or they just don’t seem to understand what you’re going through. It happens.
If it does, it’s okay to talk with the therapist about your concerns.
There’s a good chance that your therapist knows it’s not working. They “should” want you to feel comfortable and safe, so don’t be afraid to either…
- Try to work on the relationship with them, or
- End the therapeutic relationship so you can start therapy with someone else.
I have had several therapists over the course of five years. If your second, third, and fourth choices don’t work out, don’t give up!
***TIP: If you aren’t using a therapy platform to choose a therapist, sometimes therapists will offer initial consultations for free to help you know if your personalities mesh well. Take advantage of these opportunities (especially if saving time and money is important to you)!
Your Therapist is Not a Mind-Reader
If you DON’T feel like your therapist is a good fit for you, don’t assume they know what you’re thinking. You have to tell them either in a session or in a message (if the therapist allows outside communication).
If you DO like your therapist, you should know that they are human. They only know what you tell them. If you have a problem, and don’t give them all the details, they can only help you so much.
Therapy isn’t cheap. To get your money’s worth, you need to tell your therapist everything relevant to your problem. If you don’t know whether something is relevant, ask your therapist. If you don’t feel comfortable telling your therapist all the details, tell them that too. That way, they’ll know they don’t have the full picture, but they will try to help you as much as possible.
Therapy Actually Takes Work
If your therapist gives you homework to do outside of your sessions, do it (if you want to see progress).
Also, therapy can be really painful.
If you have past traumas that you want to overcome, it will take work. You may feel raw and like you want to cry all the time. You may have to manage depression and/or PTSD symptoms while you process your past. Your therapist SHOULD make sure you heal at a pace appropriate for your mental/emotional/physical/spiritual health and well-being.
Conclusion
There are a lot of things that you can consider when trying to narrow down your options, but it’s important to know that research will never be enough.
It’s called a therapeutic relationship for a reason.
It’s a relationship between two strangers, and it’s okay if it doesn’t work out.
When it does, therapy can be useful for both everyday stresses, and for navigating the most difficult situations of our lives! I hope this guide helps you learn how to choose a therapist to fit your unique needs!
