There is so much fear attached to having natural hair. I’ve lived my entire life thinking that one wrong move meant that I’d be bald. When my adenomyosis/fibromyalgia (chronic pain) spiral started, I was getting my hair professionally straightened, and maintaining it with a weekly wash/blow/straighten routine. As the pain grew, my exhaustion grew. Washes became infrequent, and my scalp was constantly crying/itching. At a hair appointment, I approached my stylist with a list of options I’d researched. I was hesitant about my ability to maintain these options, but I had to try something.

The Options

Low-maintenance hairstyles

The first option on my list was low-maintenance hairstyles (like braids, etc.). This option seemed like the best fit for managing my chronic pain and other symptoms. However, my scalp is pretty sensitive. It rapidly collects build-up, so I needed an option that would allow it to breathe and be washed regularly. Because of this, sadly, my stylist confirmed that this technique was not the way to go.

Continue Straightening

The second option I mentioned to my stylist was to continue straightening my hair. My sweet husband insisted that he’d help as much as possible. My stylist spoke to my anxiety by saying that might not be the best idea (if I want to keep my hair). I love my husband, but it took me years to learn how not to kill my hair with a flat iron.

The Natural Route

The last option was to consider wearing my hair naturally curly. My stylist told me I’d definitely need to consider a “big chop” because of how much heat damage my hair had sustained over the years. After months of struggling with a whiny scalp, I started researching curly hair salons in the Atlanta area. I calculated the price difference between getting my hair cut and straightened, versus going through a detox and then getting curl cuts. My mom went to cosmetology school once-upon-a-time, so I know to look for a knowledgeable stylist with excellent reviews and a portfolio that I can look through to see if they are proficient in my hair texture.

After looking and scratching my head for a while, I finally went to a popular salon found on Instagram.

The Appointment Process

Prep

I had a basic wash and go routine from college, so I used that to prep for my appointment. 

Detox

I went through a detox wash process (something they recommended on the spot because my hair had almost no curl definition).

Wash & Set

They washed, conditioned, and put my head under a hooded dryer. I decided in the chair that I would go ahead and do a chop. I texted my husband and giggled at his response “You go Glen Coco!” (Mean Girls, 2004). With my hair flying towards the floor, I felt a weight lifting off my shoulders. Less hair typically means less maintenance. 

The end style was not what I imagined it would be, but many articles had prepared me for that feeling. I had a long detox journey ahead of me, but I was assured that patience, diligence, and time would yield beautiful results! I took my new products, new hair, and a folder filled with my new maintenance routine to the car with a smile on my face.  

More Complications

I canceled my first follow-up hair appointment because of my endometriosis resection surgery. My next attempt at a follow-up was canceled because my grandmother wound up in the hospital. I was starting to progress in my mobility by December 2022, but was thrown back in bed by a stomach bug in early January. I also learned then that my IUD had shifted.

My husband and I switched insurance companies this year, and getting set up with a new doctor was a lengthy process. I had to forward my medical records from a bunch of different locations to our new insurance company. With so most of my energy (physical and mental) being directed towards my this, I wasn’t able to wash my hair for a while.

My old anxieties kept telling me that my hair was going to break off. I was having nightmares about it. When I’d wake up, I’d grasp at my head close to tears until I realized I wasn’t bald.

I asked my husband to help me wash my hair but failed to guide him enough. My mother had to drive to our place late at night to help me de-tangle what felt like dread-lock clumps in my head. She was able to get the knots out, but I was stuck with a few tiny bald patches in my head that haunted me.

They still do.

The routine given to me by the curly hair stylist is the easiest I’ve ever had. It’s difficult knowing that I haven’t been able to keep up with it.

My Current Routine

1. Wash Twice.
2. Condition while de-tangling with my hands.
3. Use the all-natural holding gel as I comb through sections with my curly hair de-tangling brush.

Our home doesn’t have room for a proper hooded dryer, and I don’t have the time/energy to use a space-saving one that will morph my hair into a bowl.

I’ve given up on diffusing my hair (takes too much energy), so I typically air-dry (which means no post-hair day nap). 

For a while, I was considering a super short cut to make my life easier, but I’ve never done anything that drastic before.

I also miss my hair being longer.

For now, I’m going to try and plan out a day each week that won’t interfere with…

• work,
• household/adulting shenanigans, and
• my weekly Sabbath (non-negotiable).

If you have chronic pain, how do you handle your hair wash days?

I like this article about hair washing and chronic pain. Maybe it can inspire you too!

https://themighty.com/topic/disability/hair-wash-day-black-chronic-illness-disability/